


Every Word's A New Regret If You Say It Right

by EvilKitten42



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: I love these dorks, M/M, RPF, they are my favourite dorks, what absolute dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 09:17:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1422784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilKitten42/pseuds/EvilKitten42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt by ruthvsreality: "Spencer and Brendon have had sex once, and Spencer refuses to talk about it. It was years ago, when they were young and stupid. But looking back, that may have been when Brendon fell in love. Spencer has way too many regrets."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Word's A New Regret If You Say It Right

It was once. Years ago. Right after Brent left and… It was dumb. It was totally a mistake, just a product of emotions and the fact Brendon will latch onto anything with a pulse when he’s upset and hug it until it gives in. It was nothing. It still _is_ nothing, a blip in their friendship. _It_ _does not matter_.

(“It totally matters” says the small, annoyingly logical part of Spencers’ brain that still sounds like his mom)

And Spencer keeps telling himself that it doesn’t mater, and it works, it does, he really doesn’t care. Not at all. Not a jot.

"Hey, Spence?" Brendon calls out, striding into the room with his phone in his face. "I need to wow my internet following." He looks up at Spencer, all innocent wide eyes. "Do me for the vine?"

Spencer feels all the blood drain from his face in about half a second. Brendon laughs his high-pitched hyena cackle of a laugh.

"Look at your _face_.” Brendon sniggers, plopping down next to Spencer on the couch (and _no_ , Spencer doesn’t care about how Brendon melts into him, or how warm he is, or how different it would feel to run his hands down Brendon’s sides now compared to back then and _brain you will stop that right now_ ) “Spence, if you were fucking me I’d hope it’d last longer than 6 seconds. Unless you’re still secretly nineteen.”

“ _Brendon._ " The part of Spencer that keeps the whole Brendon Situation under control wants to move about 500 miles away and build lego’s alone for the rest of forever. Another part (that needs to _be quiet right now_ ) wants to roll over and cover every inch of Brendon’s body with his own. (The last part of his brain still sounds like his mom and seems torn on which side to take. Spencer needs to stop imagining his mom when he’s trying to not think about Brendon naked.)

“ _Spencer_.” Brendon counters, still giggling. “Dude, seriously, you think about things too much.”

"I do not." Spencer crosses his arms. "I just don’t see why you keep bringing up something unimportant."

Brendon’s whole face drops.

"Yeah, unimportant." Brendon pulls away slightly and looks back at his phone, his voice sounds tight and fuck, _fuck_ , what did Spencer just do? “Totally unimportant. Whatever.”

"Brendon…" Spencer turns to look at him.

"No, whatever, you’re right."

"Bren-"

"I mean." Brendon shrugs, gesticulating wildly with the hand not holding his phone (oh fuck, he’s so pissed off, oh god). "It’s not like that was my first time having sex, like, _ever_. And it’s not like it was the first time I’ve ever felt fucking _wanted_. And it’s not like it was the night I realised I loved my _idiot_ of a best friend-“

“ _You what?!_ " Spencer squeaks. Oh god, fuck, Brendon’s just staring at him and Spencers’ heart is going about 800 miles an hour and he can’t breathe.

"You heard me." Brendon huffs, shoving his phone in his pocket and standing as if to leave. "But I guess if it’s so _unimportant_ then I’ll just leave-“

"Brendon!" Spencer grabs his arm and pulls him back onto the couch, but Brendon completely overbalances and ends up falling on top of Spencer and wow, Spencer did not know he could turn this red so fast.

Brendon’s just staring at him, eyes wide and breathing heavy and Spencer can’t help but remember the last time they did this and he _wants_ , fuck he wants to bad.

"You love me?" Spencer asks, and Brendon’s whole face goes soft when he looks at him.

"Spencer…" Brendon says his name like a prayer and Spencers’ heart stops beating for a second. "You have way too many regrets."

"I’ll work on it." Spencer pulls Brendon down into a kiss and _fuck_ , his brain was right, this has always fucking mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr user ruthvsreality is a beautiful human who sends me prompts like 8 times a day and we flail at each other a lot, this is one of my fave flail sessions  
> "Do me for the Vine" shamelessly stolen from a text post by Tumblr user oomshi  
> Title is a line from "Spotlight (New Regrets)" from Soul Punk :D


End file.
